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Fatemeh Fayyaz on Excessiveness in Femininity

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By Fatemeh Fayyaz

It is really difficult to talk about a lady who, through her heirs, spread the light of Imamate in the world; the lady every moment of whose life was spent giving meaning to the role of women in the world. Distances often hinder getting to know, but when it comes to the sun, not only distance does not cause a barrier, but the light and warmth of its existence cover both the individual and the whole world.

One of the constant concerns of mankind throughout history has been peace, satisfaction, happiness, and self-actualization, for which philosophers and psychologists have come up with a variety of theories and explanations for hundreds of years. Attaining pleasure, purposefulness, activism, meaningfulness, intimacy, success, and positive emotions are some of the suggestions that psychologists have made over the past decades to perceive happiness and satisfaction in life. Interestingly, these suggestions and theories have undergone significant changes and reforms over time, and the important question is how long should a person wait in the course of his/her limited life to finally be sure what is the path to true happiness and satisfaction? And how can one know what he/she is doing today is the real path for attaining peace?

Having a role model in all educational/upbringing methods is one of the most effective strategies in shaping one’s behavior and achieving the desired goals. The Holy Prophet of Islam (PBUH), Hazrat Zahra (SA), and the Infallible Imams (AS) are all perfect role models of living one’s life according to the teachings of the Holy Qur’an in different situations and in the face of different events.

They are the manifestations of the peak of faith and peace in the face of hardships and suffering in life. The Ahl al-Bayt being our role models is fundamentally different from educational models. One of these differences is that moving towards and reaching perfection, satisfaction, and desired happiness is unachievable through observation, but the core of the matter is having heartfelt faith and emotional connection with the household of the Prophet (PBUH), which results in transformation.

Imam Hadi (AS) has, in Ziyarat Jami’ah Kabirah has thrown light on the Ahl al-Bayt being the best role models in such areas as knowledge, wisdom, mercy, philanthropy, charity and altruism, virtues, humility, sincerity, love for God, truthfulness, patience, honesty, connection with God, faith in the hereafter, purity, righteousness, faith, and benevolence. It is obvious that knowing these patterns with these characteristics naturally boils love, passion, and devotion from within and creates the ground for real happiness and achieving real satisfaction. It goes without saying that knowing these role models with these characteristics would naturally inspire love, passion, and devotion and create the ground for real happiness and achieving real satisfaction.

The blessed and luminous being of Hazrat Zahra (SA) is a perfect and comprehensive role model for all times; preventing deviation, confusion, and lethargy in life. Many women in all eras and for various reasons, which cannot be explained in this article, have been involved in either extreme with regard to their role as females. Of course, society, family, and both men and women have played a role in these extremes. But the basic question is, what has been the cause of inclination towards extremes during different ages? For example, on the one hand, there are women who are viewed as the second sex, do not have dignity, are oppressed and forced, and do not have the right to read and write, their only duty is to bear children and take care of the house and, on the other hand, there are some women who want to be like men, free from the constraints of motherhood and wifehood, enjoy similar rights with men in society, are allowed to have full-time jobs, take on management positions, hate having children, and only seek social growth and progress.

Empirical evidence has shown that in none of these two views about women, have women experienced true happiness, satisfaction and success! In other words, the mentioned extreme models have always had dangerous consequences for the women of Muslim societies and have driven them away from true models such as Hazrat Fatimah (SA). Being afraid of a particular role model and inclination toward another one do not reflect freedom. Two types of mental inculcations usually take place:

1- A free and active woman is similar to men in society, and this is not acceptable in Islam, and, therefore, she should avoid any social activity, and should turn to seclusion, and

2- Islam is against women staying at home and that a woman should study, work, and have social activities; the outcome of which lack of interest in getting married and having children.

Surprisingly, many Muslim women think that they must engage in social activities in Western styles (such as having a full-time official job). However, women should know having social activity does not necessarily mean being similar to men. Moreover, they should recognize their countless female talents and capacities and know that they have the ability to simultaneously play their roles as wives and mothers and be active in society by learning certain skills.

They should know just as having disciplined social activities was important for Hazrat Zahra (SA), who is the best role model for women, it is also necessary for them and, at the same time, they should also know that having social activities in society must be in accordance with certain divine conditions and dos and don’ts.

Thus, a detailed and deep understanding of the life of Hazrat Zahra (SA) can clarify the principles and limits of the balance between the role of women at home and in society and prevent them from the tendency towards two extreme and excessive patterns in the current world in relation with their identity and role.

It is hoped that Muslim women, while knowing the principles and standards of women’s role at home and in society by pondering upon the life of Hazrat Zahra and acting accordingly, move forward in the direction of self-actualization and achieving true satisfaction and happiness, and demonstrate this balanced path of life for other women of the world with the help of Hazrat Zahra (SA).

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